


This is where I'm meant to be.

by madsmarie



Category: Alternate Reality-Canon Divergence, Angst - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Post- Marauders ERa, Post-first war with voldemort - Fandom, The Marauders - Fandom, different POVs - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29043213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madsmarie/pseuds/madsmarie
Summary: "Go, Lily! Take Harry and run!"Those were the last words Lily Potter ever heard from her husband before apparating out of their house in Godric's hollow with her son. She'd soon come to find out, that James' sacrifice had destroyed the dark lord. Harry and she were safe, but was it worth it? For Harry to be without his father? She'd Apparated straight into Remus Lupin and Sirius Blacks shared cottage.
Relationships: wolfstar - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	1. Halloween 1981

Harry was screaming. If she hadn't been in such a rush to save her sons life, she would've known better than to apparate with a child so young. The cottage was empty, Remus must have been out on another mission for the order. Who knew where Sirius was.

Lily was numb, her mind had not yet registered the horror of what happened back at her house. Her husband, the love of her god damn life, was gone, she was sure of that. She sat on the couch, rocking her son to soothe his ears and begging him to stop crying. 

Sirius was the first to burst through the door to the cottage, eyes wild with grief. "Lily?!" he called and she walked out of the bedroom where she'd just put a crying harry down. It was as if everything caught up to her at once with a single look at the man's face, and she fell into Sirius's arms. "He's gone. James and the dark lord, both of them are-" Sirius is cut off as a sob wracks through both his and Lily's bodies. "Where is... Harry, is he?" 

"I-in your room, I didn't know where else to go, Sirius. This was the safest place I could think of. I can't believe that Peter would... I never thought."

"No, You did the right thing. We knew where to find you when you weren't in the hollow, Moody knows you're here, but that's it. I found him before coming to you, Peter I mean. I- I tried to do something, I tried to get revenge, but the little rat got away." 

Lily had pulled away from Sirius at this point. She finally got a good look at him without the fear of him being the spy, for the first time in almost a year. He was skinnier, his hair longer. He looked as if he'd aged 10 years in the span of their time in the war. He looked so tired and so, so sad. It truly hit Lily there, that not only had she lost the love of her life and Harry had lost his father, but Sirius and Remus had lost their best friend because of another one of their best friends. The betrayal she felt, they felt as well. This is where she's meant to be. They stood there like that for a moment, Lily's hands-on Sirius' forearms and Sirius's hands on Lily's waist. "I'm so sorry Sirius, We...he wasn't...We didn't know who to trust. He was so so scared, he hated being skeptical of you and moony." 

Sirius shook his head. "No, Lils, it's okay. No one trusted anyone. You did what you had to do to survive. I should've been the secret keeper. I should've...I could've done so much more to save prongs." and lily just pulled him back into her arms.

"We did everything we thought was right at the time. This is no one's fault but that slimy rat Peters."

This is when Remus busts through the door, tears staining his scar covered cheeks. The two hugging pull apart and Remus' breath catches in his throat as he sees Lily's bright red hair. He rushes over to pull them both into a group hug, usually not one for affection, but he must've known that Lily needed it. As Lily pulls away is when Harry decides to wake. She moves to pick him up and when she emerges from the room to Sirius and Remus, who had sat on the couch, she could tell that they saw what she saw every time she looked at him. They said it many times, how much Harry looked just like James, but tonight, it was different. Tonight, it was bittersweet to see her son.

"He's going to be just like James, you know that right lils? He looks just like him." Remus muses as Sirius takes Harry from her and she finally sits down.

"But you've forgotten that he has my eyes. I hope he's the perfect mixture of James and me." She pauses as she watches Sirius with her son. "I've nowhere else to go."

"We have a spare room, remember? James slept there when he was attacked in Diagon alley. You can live with us, we'll help you. How could we not? This is where you are meant to be." 

She glances between Remus and Sirius, completely overtaken by emotion. She'd never expected this. "We've lost so much, in so little time. We're all we have left." She looks at her son. "It's all we need."


	2. Harrys First Year at Hogwarts- Diagon Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been eleven years since that fateful day.  
> Sirius and Remus are no worse for the ware in the love department.  
> Harry is more and more like James every day.  
> Lily is haunted by the memory of her love.

"Uncle Moony loves me more than uncle Padfoot!" Harry hollers, frowning as Sirius refuses to give the smaller boy his third piece of chocolate cake. Sirius steps back, hand on his chest as if harry had actually struck him. "He'd let me have anotha piece o' cake, pads!" 

Lily makes her way into the kitchen at the moment, spotting her son standing on a chair, a little finger pointing angrily at Sirius and a fire tingling in his eyes. Sirius has laughter in his eyes, but he keeps the hurt expression on his face as he stares at harry. "Harry James Potter, is that any way to talk to your godfather when he has been nothing but nice to you?" Lily asks, her voice scares the small boy and he almost topples off the chair. "Uncle Remus would not let you have three pieces of cake, because I wouldn't let him. You are lucky that Sirius let you have two. You're going to be wound up tighter than a spring. Now, apologize to your uncle and go clean up after yourself." She picks him up, and as she sets him down she pats him on the bum to make him go faster. Lily looks back at Padfoot with an exhausted expression. "Sirius, I am so-"

He cuts her off "Lils, It's okay. I've helped you raise him remember? There is nothing that child could say that would actually hurt my heart." There is a twinkle in his eyes as he sets a tea down in front of lily. "He reminds me more and more of James every day. It's astonishing." a fond smile forms on his lips "He's got your heart, of course, he's ever so sweet and smart, but god, his attitude is James down to a T." At this moment, Remus makes his way into the room, and Sirius pulls him into a soft kiss. 

"I've just run into Harry, he seems rather upset. What happened?" Remus asked, a soft laugh in his voice.

"Oh, I wouldn't let him have any more cake and lils got on him. You know, the usual. He says you love him more than I do." 

"Ah- Think we're hitting the teens early? Think he'd rebelling about going to school?" 

"Merlin help us if we are. Yet, there is a good chance of that." Lily laughs and harry enters the room, his hair sticking up.

"Sorry, Sirius." He hums, wrapping his arms around Sirius's waist and looking up at him with his eyebrows raised and true sorrow in his eyes. Lily can't help but smile at how sweet this little boy ended up being. He'd be famous all over the wizarding world and quite honestly, Lily wanted to keep him away from that to keep him humble. Suddenly, Harry turned to her. "Mummy, when do we get to go shopping for my school books? School starts in just a few months and I've never met anyone at school."

This was true. It was still a secret to much of the wizarding world that Harry and Lily were still alive or at the very least, where they were. He'd been kept out of the spotlight, safely tucked into his room at the new cottage that they lived in with Sirius and Remus. Lily just...she just couldn't chance it. She didn't want to lose harry as well. She looks up at Remus and Sirius desperately, as if _begging_ them to come along and their smiles are never the less sad but eager. 

"Of course, Harry. We'll go today. All of us, right?" Remus ventures, picking up the eleven-year-old with no issues. 

"Wouldn't miss it for anything in the world." Sirius hums, cleaning up. 

"Shall we then?" She asks softly, pointing towards the fireplace which was connected to the floo lines. "It'll be Harry's first time with floo powder."

and she watches her son's eyes go wide his mouth agape. He'd seen magic all around him throughout the last eleven years, this was nothing new to them. His first evidence of magic was when he was three and napping next to Sirius in Padfoot form and Sirius had accidentally kicked him off the couch, and Lily had watched as her son floated inches off the ground, eyes wide. She'd never seen Sirius transform so fast and apologize so profusely to Harry, but he hadn't been hurt.

They move towards the fireplace and Remus goes first, speaking clearly. Harry went next, but his words were a bit jumbled, this worried Lily. It was her turn and then Sirius. Her worst fear came true when she stepped out of the fireplace and did not see her son with Remus, whose own eyes were wide, looking around. "He can't be that far, Remus, he might've gone to knocktu-" Lily was saying as she exited the leaky cauldron, frantic, but shes cut off at the sight of the gamekeeper of Hogwarts, Hagrid, and her small son next to him, hand in hand. "Oh thank Merlin." she sighs, rushing forward. "Harry!" She calls, and Hagrid turns. 

"Now, I thought that this was who he was. Did you ever find out how he got the scar, Lily?" Hagrid asked, pointing at the ever evident lightning bolt that scanned across the top of her son's forehead.

"Curse hit us as we apparated, James' sacrificed made it so that was the worst we got." She sighs, dropping to give harry a tight hug. 

Remus and Sirius are behind her in a second, talking to Hagrid, all smiles. She should've covered up the scar somehow, it would've been less evident than who he was and what he'd done. 

"Must be here to get his things for the first year right?" 

"Yes, and a birthday present." Sirius states proudly and Lily almost smacked herself. It was her son's 11th birthday, and she'd forgotten? How could she forget? Merlin, James would be laughing so hard at her right now. If only James were here. 

"Can I get him his pet? I saw an owl earlier that I think would be perfect for a child just like Harry Potter."

"Of course, Hagrid. We appreciate it so much, We can meet you back at the leaky cauldron for lunch?" She asked, smiling gently at him, finally standing and taking hold of her son's hand. "We really must get going."

"Bye Hagrid! see you soon!" Harry called out, gods, what a sweet, sweet boy.

"So, should we start off with the robes? Those will take the longest." Sirius was scanning the list dumbledore had sent them. "Madam Milkins?" He ventures, pointing to the shop not far from them.

Harry leads the way, moving his hand from Lily's and he's off like a rocket. She has to laugh, as Sirius, Remus and her follow him. What a sight they must be. Harry evidently holds the door open for his family behind him. Lily couldn't remember a time where Harry's smile was so wide, so much like James' when the marauders would pull off their silly little pranks. Her heart ached, once more at the thought of her husband and she ruffles Harry's hair as she walks into Madam Milkins. Not surprisingly, there was already a boy getting sized, but Madam Milkins has Harry stand on a podium next to him.

Sirius is frozen as he recognizes the boy. The _cold blonde hair_. Before lily could even ask, Sirius had dipped out of the store and was just standing at the entrance. Yet, the boy and harry were talking. 

"My father and mother were both in Slytherin. It's the best house, I couldn't imagine being in any other house. Could you?" The blond asked her son and he turned around to look at his mom. She nodded gently.

"Me mum, dad, and uncles were in Gryffindor. I think that's the best house..." His voice is quiet, unsure of himself and it was soon after that that Madam was finished with Harry's robes. Lily paid quickly and they left. 

She only caught a small bit of the conversation between Remus and Sirius, but it seemed as if the blond boy had been Sirius' nephew. She left it there because evidently, this wasn't something Sirius wanted Harry to know. They gathered Harry's books with no issue and it took a lot of convincing to Sirius that Harry did not need a golden cauldron. "It specifically states _pewter,_ Padfoot." She hums, a smile pulling at her cheeks. Remus and Sirius disappeared as it came time to buy Harry his wand. Perhaps off to buy him a new present. 

"Now, Harry love, this is something you are going to have to do by yourself okay? I will be right back." she could see the glee on his face and she hoped her slight panic wasn't showing on hers. 

"Okay, mum! I will stay outside of this store until you come back okay? I won't go anywhere." 

and so, Harry went into Ollivander's by himself. Lily's instincts told her to get her arse into that store and stay with him. Yet, what kind of mother would she be if she didn't get harry his own present? As she turned on her heels to move away, Sirius and Remus return, each with a large bag. 

"Oh, thank Merlin. He's in there, I told him he gets to do this himself okay?" She looks between the two, her panic lessening now. "Just...wait here, please? I've got to get his birthday present. I've completely forgotten." 

and they stayed with no issue. What could she ever get her son who deserved the world and more? Especially on his first year at Hogwarts? It takes a moment for lily to realize just how easy it would be to get him a photo of his family and this included his father. 

It didn't take her long, to pop home, find a photo of the marauders, Marlene, Mary, Lily, and baby Harry. This had been taken not long before they had to go into hiding, Harry's welcome home party. Remus and Sirius were nudging each other in the photo, James was smiling gently down at Harry and Lily was smiling at James. Mary and Marlene were rocking into each other as well, but everyone's eyes were on harry. He was so loved, by so many. It hurt her to see them all so happy like this, this was the family that should have been. Now, Mary had forsaken magic, Marlene was gone, James was gone and Peter....he was a traitor. She wanted to remove him, but Harry needed to know. She apparated back to Ollivander's, just as harry exited the shop.

"Mum?" he asked softly

"yes my love?" 

"My wand, he said the twin to it gave me my scar..." and lily's heart turns cold, she feels Remus and Sirius stiffen beside her. "That means... does that mean that I'm going to be like you-know-who?"

Her heartbreaks. Her son should not have to worry about such things and she can't talk for a minute, buts he didn't need to because ever too wise for his age Remus Lupin kneeled down to look harry in the eyes. 

"Now, Harry. I think you getting this wand means that you are going to be the _exact_ opposite of the previous owner okay? Not every witch or wizard who has the same wand cores are the same, right? Just like...a good example would be, what am I? On full moons?"

"Werewolf."

"Yes, and I've told you of Greyback?"

"He's a terrible, terrible werewolf. Like Voldy." Harry had taken to calling the man who took his father voldy, for some unknown reason.

"Exactly. He bit me, does that mean I am terrible and like him?"

"No."

"So, by having a wand with the same core as his, does that make you like him?"

"No."

"Harry, you have a choice. You can be the best person, the best wizard, the kindest heart, the one we all know you are, or you can go down the same path you are. This is all up to you. Your wand does not mean who he did. Okay?"

"Okay..." Harry's voice is soft, scared. "but what if I get put into Slytherin?"

it was lily's turn, "Then Slytherin will have gained an amazing wizard with a kind heart." She reaches out to her son. "You are too young to worry about this. You are you and we love you no matter what."

and that was that Harry's mood brightened and he jumped off the steps, taking Lily's hand and they made their way to the Leaky Cauldron for lunch, where they met Hagrid, who held up a crate with a beautiful snowy owl. 

"Happy Birthday Harry!" 

and Harry surged forward, lucky that Sirius had taken everything from him besides his wand. 

"Oh, Hagrid, she's gorgeous, you didn't have to!" Lily calls as they set their items down on the table next to Hagrid. He looks at lily, with a soft sadness in his eyes and she knew what he was thinking. They let harry look at his items, including his gifts from Sirius and Remus. Remus had gotten him his own set of gobstones and Sirius had given him a box full of objects to cause chaos at Hogwarts. Both were very telling.

"'e reminds me a lo' o' James, Lily." Hagrid softly comments to her.

"I think that's these twos doing, helping him stay soft and fun. I'm not sure what I would've done without them."

and they talked like they were normal people for the longest time until harry came over and leaned his head onto lily's chest. 

"Mum?" 

"yes, love?"

"What did you get me?"

"Oh, right." she laughs softly, pulling the photo and its frame out of her bag and hands it to him. She points in order "This is your aunt Mary, your Aunt Marlene, Moony and Padfoot. Your father, me, and you."

"Who's this?" he asks, pointing to Peter, who was on the edge of the photo, looking around. 

"That...is someone we don't talk about. I tried to cover him up."

"That's wormtail, right? The one who got dad killed?"

and it hit her like a ton of bricks, the question she wasn't ready for.

"Yes, harry. Peter was our friend and he betrayed your mother and father." Sirius says, softly taking the picture from her son and looking it over. His expression is soft, but hard to read and he leans onto Remus.

After that, the quartet picked up said their goodbyes to Hagrid, and went back home. Lily found a place to store Harry's trunk until the first day of school, but she couldn't get over the nagging feeling that something was wrong.

"I should've taken the job as Muggle studies professor." she frowns, flopping onto the couch between Remus and Sirius. They departed ways, both throwing their arms around her shoulders. 

"You can't watch over him his entire life, Lils. He's going to be okay, nowhere is safe than Hogwarts." 

and that was how they were. Lily and her boys. She would have a concern, freak out, be overly protective and they would bring her back down. They would be there for her and they were always there for her son.

She loves James for bringing these two men into her life. She just so wished he was here to see how their son had grown. What a perfect blend he was of both him and her.


End file.
